originally posted at snagglebox.com
Lately I’ve been feeling... displaced.
Through a series of seemingly never-ending events, I’ve been away from home more often than I’ve been in it over the past few months. And I’m tired. Tired of all the moving around, seeing unfamiliar things, not knowing where anything is kept and not sleeping in my own bed. Never getting a chance to put down roots, to get established, to feel comfortable and just be before the next change comes. It’s exhausting. And yet it’s also oddly familiar, and I’ve only just now figured out why.
It’s what I do every day.
This is what it feels like to be out of sync with most of the people around you, to have a body that works differently to the one around which the world was designed. To constantly be required to move out of your comfort zone and stay there for long periods of time. To not have regular access to the safe havens that allow you to rest and recharge.
To always be away from home.
What do I mean by home? Home is where you can let down your guard, and relax amongst the familiar and predictable. A place to feel safe and understood, surrounded by the things you choose to enjoy. Somewhere that is protected from the outside and safe from unwanted intrusions. Home is where you can be yourself.
Some people find home in the place where they live. For others, home might be inside a video game or online community. It might be a corner of the library surrounded by favourite books or in the arms of someone who loves you unconditionally. Or maybe it’s being immersed in a special interest or watching the same episode of a TV show over and over. Some people have many places that feel like home, others might never find any.
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