Tuesday, September 10, 2013

fitting in vs blending in

Written by Dani G.
Originally posted at "I'm Just That Way and That's Just Me"

"'Cause I, I once heard

that you gotta learn
how to blend in to this mess
Where nothin's hard
nothin's precious
and nothin's smooth or flawless"


It's never been very easy for me to blend in. Plus, I've never totally wanted to blend in with the rest. I like being different. But I'd like if my difference was my hair color, tattoos (sorry dad), clothes, or even vernacular. Something harmless. I guess I want to fit in, but not blend in. Make sense? It totally does to me.
I'm beginning to get a little nervous about putting my atypical kid into a typical school with typical kids. I sat down with Dr. G last week to talk about it and he reminded me of something that I've always been aware of, but I think I'm just starting to really FEEL it.

Simply put, it's that everybody's got something. Even the seemingly typical kids have something going on. I know that's true, but it's hard to really feel when I'm busy comparing my insides to someone else's outsides. My fears are that she'll never fit in. She'll never have friends. The only kids who will play with her are the kids of my friends, who won't have the heart to say no to my requests. I'm already there. As a pretty social person, that's tough to see. I recently read somewhere that a woman in the same position decided to stop trying to force play dates with her kid's peers. Rather, she'll just have to make do with those friends who won't refuse. I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. I really do need to work on the social piece. That's the whole point of putting her into this "normal" kid school. The technical term is inclusion......

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