Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Cost of Clumsiness

by Bec Oakley

originally posted on snagglebox.com

Clumsy adj. Done awkwardly or without skill.
It was shaping up to be one of those mornings. I crawled out of bed after only a few hours sleep and drowsily made the boys some hot cocoa. In my sedated state I made the first big mistake of the morning - I put the mug on the computer desk.

A few seconds later, in his excitement to show me something, Attie reached towards the computer screen and knocked the mug over. Hot sticky cocoa spilled all over the desk, keyboard, mouse and expensive-looking ‘History of Pixar’ coffee table book that we’d borrowed from the library the day before. Cocoa dripped onto the floor. It seeped into cupboards. The dog hovered nearby waiting for me to drop my guard.

And then I made the second big mistake. I swore. Loudly.

It’s not the words that mattered (my kids have heard them plenty of times before), it was the tone. The obvious disgust, disappointment and disapproval that in my tired state I wasn’t careful enough to channel towards the cocoa instead of Attie himself.

I grew up being the one who knocked things over, who dropped the ball and walked into furniture and tripped over nothing. I’m still that person. My constantly moving hands are always accidentally upending vases and smacking people in the face. So I know exactly what Attie was feeling when he ran to his room and hid under a blanket.

Shame. Regret. Embarrassment. Self-loathing.
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If you would like more information about apraxia, learning disabilities, or parenting, please contact Family Matters at 866-436-7842.

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